when we get stuck in life all in a poem

Lost and at the turning point
The one that you fear

 Take action on your thoughts

I cannot even swear

As my mind goes blank

What is life without the act?

The action we must take to move us forwards is slack

I am not depressed but just stuck

I think I need a kick up the butt

So let’s do the exercise like smile for no reason

And then take some deep breaths as we change seasons

Season to be jolly and jump up with joy and not be sorry

We got this one you see

We can change our patterns to be more active

By taking action the next step in life and breathe and be happy within our site.

Life is wonderful



The life in Pandora’s Box with an ADHD child

The life in Pandora’s Box with an ADHD child

Yes my day begins every week day the same just like all others.

I have alarms set for my boy as is responds to clock work and numbers.

My day starts off with alarms for getting my son to help him get ready for school. Alarms are just part of our life now.

My son usually wakes up at 6am and has created his own routine. He gets up toilet first then goes and gets the cat from the laundry and takes her into his room so she can have cuddles and watch his ipad in bed. This is a very special time for him, not sure how the cat feels lol. I have put in place not to wake me before 7am that is my time. Continue reading “The life in Pandora’s Box with an ADHD child”

How we think people see us. Open Pandora’s box of love

Open Pandora’s box of love

opening Pandora’s Box is a saying and maybe classed this eval is inside but love and beauty and negative can all flow into one journey giving us the giggles.

We always think the worse seeing and picking on what we don’t like about our looks.

But I see the real beauty in side people. What is on the inside comes throw our skin.

 I see in you is that you give me inspirations you make me laugh and I am always learning and growing around you. The habits the physical look you are thinking others see is how you see yourself. Change these thought and grow glow. That is what a true friend sees.

 I see an intelligent man who has always got a lot of knowledge to share and always bringing people up and making them feel good about them self.

Yes you have a way of saying it how it is but that is the truth and even if they don’t understand it then and there they will realise later. You have just helped them be a better them without you realising it.

I also see a man with a hot tight ass one of my eye candy’s. I love the way you walk and strut your confidence. You are hot in many ways and you are mine and I love the way you flirt and tease and making me always satisfied.

 Your friends think you are amazing and kind and also have a lot to bring to the table in a relationship and as for my friends they only want me to be happy.

It funny after our little break I see you so differently now I see no faults just pleasure and I also feel you are taller now, he. You have grown in my heart and eyes and I love everything about you. Some time I find myself thinking and picturing the little dance wiggle you do with your hips and it bring be to a little giggle.

I also here your voice seeing in my ears and I smile. I have you on my mind all the time picturing your eyes ever so soft and loving and sensual.

I have fallen in love and when I say it I tell myself i am not to run from love ever again, stay and enjoy and breathe it into my soul.

I am happy comfortable and cannot see myself anywhere else in this world, only in your arms.


The way you make me feel is just unreal. I am happy our eyes crossed paths

and you gave me your number

this journey begin of us in the wind

the wind of love, the warmth of lust and to always trust

to give each other inspiration as we gather our information

our information of our path together making it for ever

I will be yours truly as I feel you near me and never leave me

I have know where to hide but in your arms of love and pride

I know this is love for us.

So let enjoy our never-ending story of you and me with glory.


a magic life to be

But who pulls those strings
Is it an imagination we play?
Or is it real, what is real
I am lost and lonely for one friend
But I get mixed emotions when I think of him
Yes I could go the other way
And feel nothing and enjoy just living
Or do I go with the crazy heart beat I feel
I have made up my mind but I need to check in


Check in and see if I can handle it for the rest of my life
Can I break this cycle and am comfortable with which I am?
And share that place of care
Can I be proud it’s ok to feel good and not try to make everything ok for all?
For all but me to keep the Pease
That my journey now and I am on my way
Look out to my future my final destiny I am coming
I am coming to stop rest and be the best forever.

FEAR, will I end up in the right person’s eyes?

FEAR, will I end up in the right person’s eyes again?

I know this is a process I have chosen and now I have to work with it and truly find what I am searching for in my soul mate. I know I have a lot to work on as I am not making these same mistakes again. My life feels stuck at the moment want to release my desires. But this must not be unleashed until I am certain in the future that I want to hold. I do know what I don’t want it keeps being put in my face at the moment.

It’s like that relationship gone sour; to the point you don’t even want to hear what they are talking about. Not even wanting to be touch and this is all too real as it feels like my long relationship I had. Yes I get Horney but I do not even want these desires to be filled. I am starting to regret something I did and am feeling stuck and that dirty kind of feeling again. Am I meant to be facing this again so I can tackle them face on, facing my fears I ran away from 4 years ago.

 This is coming up for me to face my fears and be done with them and be where I am meant to be with a soul mate. Life has funny ways of presenting things to us but obviously I have not completed this part of my feelings. I know when I was forced to have sex as a child and as an adult I felt dirty after. I just wanted to crawl up into a little ball after showering in a hot shower leaving my skin so red it looked like I had been sunburned. Getting to the end of my married relationship I felt like a prostitute having to perform sex as he had not had it for a month and I was made to feel guilty for him not having sex and that I did not care for him. So I use to have sex with him then I only to just giving him a head job.

 I knew I had to get out and I could not pretend to love him anymore. This went on for years as I detracted in emotions and feelings. I was dead my this time not know which was is up, like falling in a pool when you have been drinking and trying to swim to the top only to find you ate swimming to the boot. These feelings are back not his fault but I am waiting for the two-week when he finally gets his own place and I can start living in my space again. Maybe I should not wait as it is killing me inside again.

I am also waiting for the explosion of my son’s father. I have sent him two texts and am waiting for him to finally contact me and Jackson as he can now have contact with Jackson. So I am killing inside waiting again. Why can’t I clear this up now as I am starting to die inside again? I want to reach out so badly to the man who was in my life but I have to give him respect to gain his life back. I am not making the same mistake and asking him back and then running again. But I am crying inside for his arms to make the little girl feel safe in this world again. I could always be in his arms and disappear from the world with my problems and everything felt safe again. I miss that. We only start to miss what we haven’t got any sadder.

How do we let our self drift apart from something that is good for us and them we cannot put it back together. I am scared it will never be the same and I will not be accepted and I have done too much damage. Yes we could just start again but there is too much history for that.

Well there it is all my stuff out that I cannot share with anyone at the moment as it will ruin and hurt a lot of people (just like when I was not believed when I was young, if I told the story I would ruin all around me. wow stuck in it again) so I stay in my fear till I can face it with strength and know what makes me happy.