At the present I still think of what I had and what I have done and still question where I want to be. I am in paradise but still something is missing. I run I try to fix but all I need to do is find and be myself. I am learning to say what I want and what I need so I don’t stress. Sometimes I think am I going to be like a friend and be too picky on what I want. I know I want someone to connect in a deep way but also take the role of a supportive parent to my son. Not just treat him in away to be with me. This is something that is hard to expect from any one. My child is my life and I see it now you must be there for them not ask for what your needs are first. Mmmmm not sure if that made sense.
How I see my future is not seeing it yet. I guess to have someone fulfil my deepest emotions and me still being able to accept their needs in life too. I am finding communication and soul you can share anything together not one way is what I am craving. I also would like the load of life to be shared too. I am not put here to take care of anyone but my child. To help him grow and learn to be the best man he can be with his disability.
So now I am tuning into my needs and working with my child in helping him grow and feel loved.
I keep reaching out to what I knew felt good but in saying that I need to let go but I cannot because I know it was right I just need to figure out what was wrong for me to keep running away. Once I have figured that out I will understand myself and know what makes me happy.
I feel life is at stand still at the moment and lots go on around me. I am working on my business to keep me from focusing on the negative. I love work and making people feel good and the social is greater too.
Life you need a friend to talk to
You need a friend to express your crazy deep feelings with
And just your general social chit-chat to feel love and good about your self
So a purpose to feel good
A soul release
A chit-chat friend
And you to know who you are