Being a single mum is frustration just about sums it up

Frustration just about sums it up

I am a single mum as you may know and have no idea how to make things a boy wants to make.

My son is always looking on youtube on how to make things. It always involved buying the thing and using wood trills and stuff I have no idea on how to use.

This is the time I wish there was a man in my life to help my little man learn and grow to be able to make and build the stuff together.

I hate saying no and it kills me inside and it is hard to explain to an ADHD and spectrum autism child why I don’t want to try and make it, as I know what is in front of us and the emotional roller coaster we are in for.

Which I know will not work because they don’t give you measurements and then my boy has a mental breakdown and feels he has failed in making something because it did not work.

The emotions that come through are so unbearable. I start to feel like a failure too, not letting him have the experience and letting his imagination go wild.

I am always encouraging him but I hate it when I know it will be a failure and then I have to pick up the pieces and put him back together.

Telling him he is amazing and can do anything.

I wish I could hire a hubby to teach him how to do men stuff and work with tools because the biggest tool we have is a big screwdriver.

So I am trying to think outside the box and redirect him back to lego and that’s not working. my head is pounding my gut is turning and am praying it will all go away.

besides buying all these tools, like a drill and spending money. it kills me that it doesn’t work out.

so trying to redirect him and saying no to this, I am getting yelled at and sworn at and am the worst mother in the world.

life can be hard sometimes and you just feel like they are taking this on alone. which I am.

I am and have been doing this all alone and just feel weak and like disappearing and hiding. but there is nowhere to hide but to stay and face it and best.…ild-is-different/

The life in Pandora’s Box with an ADHD child

The life in Pandora’s Box with an ADHD child

Yes my day begins every week day the same just like all others.

I have alarms set for my boy as is responds to clock work and numbers.

My day starts off with alarms for getting my son to help him get ready for school. Alarms are just part of our life now.

My son usually wakes up at 6am and has created his own routine. He gets up toilet first then goes and gets the cat from the laundry and takes her into his room so she can have cuddled and watch his ipad in bed.

This is a very special time for him, not sure how the cat feels lol. I have put in place not to wake me before 7am that is my time. Continue reading “The life in Pandora’s Box with an ADHD child”

Facing our fears

Facing our fears

Sad-Girl-on-a-Swing--107123 (333 x 444)This takes courage and not all of us are strong enough to do this all the time. I remember my first Rebirthing experience, it was traumatising and exhausting. I went into meditation thinking I knew what I was going to work on and instead it was about something very personal and scaring to me. The feeling of emotions rising through my body and having no control over, forced me to not want to go to that dark place again.

The sad little girl lost, alone and no one to talk to. Over the years I have slowly trusted very few therapists in working on my inner child. I would have to say one was when I was 20 years old (there bouts). The other has been over the last three years which has been my greatest results.

This lady is like an angel from heaven. Her name is sis (bodhi lane reiki Geelong Melbourne)Learning to listen to your inner soul and she works with counselling and healing in no other way you cannot describe. Her magic, her knowledge is beautifully combined. She has a gift to heal and understand. I would go in with trust and walk out with inner knowledge and feel the power of enlighten. I do miss her therapy.

Now I am in a land of new surroundings with emotional upheavals. Yes having not found that trusted person to let it all go and move forwards with. Friends are great but they too have their own opinion and beliefs that interfere with how the process should evolve. My partner is great, not a man of many words but a man of action, just being there and listening and the little things he does makes me feel safe and knowing there is some one always there for me.

IMG_0447 (333 x 444)I have been given my child as I learn how to not accept abuse. He is a walking image of his father. This is all learned behaviour. At the age of two he learnt how to manipulate and abuse his mother thinking this is what life’s all about because that what dad did. Now it is my job to reframe his mind and teach him the real life’s beauty of love and respect.

It is so hard to be treated wrong and feeling like you has no control and yet I keep trying because that’s what mums do best. Now I need to be strong stop feeling sorry for myself, reframing my thoughts and help change my boy’s outlook of life, as it can be a magic place to be in. Please think how you act as parents while your kids are young. They are sponges and only learn through what they see. Think pause and create magic for your kid’s future.

Fear kills all, don’t let it make you life miserable. Change the way you think from the moment you open your eyes. Let life take you on a happy journey.


The power of Buying a House

The power of Buying a House.

Buying a house could be easy or could be hard. My experience in buying a house has given me two different experiences.

The first house easy, every one organised everything and I signed and it was done. The second house of buying, well I am stressed out to the max.

Well let’s just say I have shut down again. They say let things go and they will flow, well I am not sure which way the stream is flowing. 

It all started when money flow was not flowing and repayments on car and house and general bills a bit much to handle.

This became a struggle, so my thoughts where explain buy something less money have some in bank and car paid off. Sounds good yes? Well nothing nice in Geelong for that price so i gave up and looked in Queensland, which has been on my mind to move there for a little while just not the right timing.

My house sold quickly easy, found a place up north. Then the stress begins. I had a broker, Rams, a conveyance in Kyneton and in Queensland organising everything but no one was organising much at all. They were all waiting for someone else to make the move.

So yes we are running out of time and the settlement date has been extended for the second time. And me well I am trying to round all up and do their work for them. Hey yes they still want their money funny that.

So now I am on my way and still trying to fix paper work up while driving to Queensland. I feel like being angry but cannot because that’s too much energy.

To be strong one must as i have a boy who is relying on his mum to give him a new happy home. But mum just wants to fall into a ball and cry. I am past falling apart; as I am thinking positive just have to do the work.

But no one’s getting paid until I get a list of ins and outs of my money and a description of what their job was meant to be. Well maybe not that but that what it feels like. I have never heard of so much shit that has made this so hard.

Then I look at it too what lesson the universe is trying to teach me on the way.

This is my thoughts on that, make me pull my finger out and take control of my life. Made me feel strong and I can do this. To notice and love the friends that I have touch on my journey and I have lots to give .and to received help without feeling guilty about it.

My Mums story

Mums story as she saw it from her point of view

One day George said to me he wanted to go to

England to find his family “

just like that” that sounded OK! To me I understood this need of knowing and wanting to find out why and what happened for him to arrive in Australia and yet some part of his family was still in London.

So I said go do what you have to do and said good-bye to him as if he was going to work, I was used to him coming and going but it was usually just a drug binge some were close. This was “England London where in the hell was that”. Continue reading “My Mums story”