Being a single mum is frustration just about sums it up

Frustration just about sums it up

I am a single mum as you may know and have no idea how to make things a boy wants to make.

My son is always looking on youtube on how to make things. It always involved buying the thing and using wood trills and stuff I have no idea on how to use.

This is the time I wish there was a man in my life to help my little man learn and grow to be able to make and build the stuff together.

I hate saying no and it kills me inside and it is hard to explain to an ADHD and spectrum autism child why I don’t want to try and make it, as I know what is in front of us and the emotional roller coaster we are in for.

Which I know will not work because they don’t give you measurements and then my boy has a mental breakdown and feels he has failed in making something because it did not work.

The emotions that come through are so unbearable. I start to feel like a failure too, not letting him have the experience and letting his imagination go wild.

I am always encouraging him but I hate it when I know it will be a failure and then I have to pick up the pieces and put him back together.

Telling him he is amazing and can do anything.

I wish I could hire a hubby to teach him how to do men stuff and work with tools because the biggest tool we have is a big screwdriver.

So I am trying to think outside the box and redirect him back to lego and that’s not working. my head is pounding my gut is turning and am praying it will all go away.

besides buying all these tools, like a drill and spending money. it kills me that it doesn’t work out.

so trying to redirect him and saying no to this, I am getting yelled at and sworn at and am the worst mother in the world.

life can be hard sometimes and you just feel like they are taking this on alone. which I am.

I am and have been doing this all alone and just feel weak and like disappearing and hiding. but there is nowhere to hide but to stay and face it and best.

http://pandorasdiary.com.au/fear-of-acceptin…ild-is-different/

The power of listening to your inner voice

The Power of listening to your inner voice

This is somewhat miss understood. we forget to listen and go about our days with the same habits that got us into this state.

inner voiceI am morning and in pain of the cycle, I keep regaining. Looking for affection in all the wrong places and yet I have gained so much insight into who I am facing. The pain the gain how to refrain. I slip and then I fall and then I catch my self as I call and pick me up again.

when I am out of my comfort zone I fall and when I am in control I raw.

but to be unsure and not so pure

is part of the learning we all feel a part of.

So I call on my inner voice to guide me the way

even if it is foggy today

I will see a light as I meditate it away

faraway I will let this past fade away

I look to the light and dream of the best and forget of all the rest

please inner strength gives me the right path

I will listen and be with one

I am doing inner work and letting it flow

but I still have a little way to go.

so here I am doing my inner work and releasing the stuff that does not work

Please let me regain the strength I need

as I do not need to revisit the pain

I am doing so well and then I fell

but I will also keep moving forwards

to the light, I have visioned oh so well

they say two steps forward and one back

well that is me one step back but I know where I am at

yay to life and its many changes

that’s how we learn of our many gaining changes.

Missing the affection you gain from someone

Missing the affection you gain from someone being present

missing a partners affectionI am feeling strong but affection is a must

it is the one thing I lust

to have you hold me tight at night

to pull me ever so tight

I am missing the spooning at night

as I fight to be strong and bright

to shine for myself as I follow the light

please god give me strength each night

I must admit I am not doing too bad

but it hasn’t been long to feel sad

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-talk

I long for the right, not the wrong and the bad

so let’s say I have been strong

but I feel a rush that is coming on

I am going with what is good for me

but yet I am not so good you see

well not yet lol

http://pandorasdiary.com.au/emotions-have-a-purpose-even-when-they-are-unwanted/

Does my wall lock them out or keep me prisoner ?

captured or not

Does my wall lock them out or keep me prisoner?

Does my wall lock them out or keep me prisoner ?I am at no turning point

It is not a game

The feelings I don’t feel

I hind them in shame

Not knowing what to do any more

But what I already know

Is to shut them out and not feel any more

My life is not painful or is it in love

I just keep going about work and life’s jobs

Not sure if I will ever let someone in

As this is life as I know it is

So I guess I will keep running and keep all away

Because that is my life as in May

Maybe someday someone will know what to say

And make my wall fall away

You all have a nice day

The Power of Emotions have a purpose even when they are unwanted

Emotions have a purpose even when they are unwanted.

We should not attempt to suppress them as we get taught to.

Our Emotions are energy that manifest in our body. This is from the neck down. To have the need to start paying attention to where our emotional energy in sitting and learn to breath and not hold a breath against it.

The other day I got some new and my feelings just started to come up out and I was a mess crying and feeling choked and the tension of loss all came flooding out through my heart and chest and thought.

This was a time to let go and breathe and feel and wallow in my own silence.

  Noticing and let it go and gaining clarity as we move and let it out and go. So pay attention to where it is manifesting in your body. Where is the tension tightness?

Emotions are a vital part of our being, because it is energy and energy cannot just disappear. The emotional energy generated by circumstances of childhood and early life just does not go away just because we do not face it and deny it, no. It is trapped in our body like a time bomb ready to explode.

If we don’t learn how to release it in a healthy way it will course us forms of sickness or cycles of not being able to achieve in life.

As long as we suppress the emotional energy and avoid dealing with it, these wounds will run our lives. We use food, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, work, religion, television, etc in keeping this all suppressed.

Our voice in our head keeps us from fronting and deal with suppressed energy, emotions. Our emotions tell us who we are. Souls communicate with us through emotional vibrations.

Our soul is what we feel in our heart and our gut, something that resonates. So was this feeling that guttered me from my soul that I am not listening to?

THERE IS TOO MUCH I CANNOT CHANGE.

I have created this world now I need to make it work.

When one of our buttons is pushed our unhealed childhood wounds are present it is hard to difference between intuitive emotions TRUTH and the emotional TRUTH which come from our childhood. The scared little kid inside us comes out in emotion we cannot explain.

http://powerfulpandorasdiary.com/2018/09/04/wild-soul-mate-take-it-and-run-with-it/

The wounds don’t go away. they have less power to dictate my life as I heal it.

I am on a spiritual journey and the force is with us.

Be kind to it heal yourself and live the life you want to live.