The life changing experience is about to happen.

The life changing experience is about to happen. The last three months have been a big turnaround for me.  I have not been so pause in my life and I am starting to enjoy stopping and smelling the flowers. Don’t get me wrong I have still been up to a lot of crazy stuff, but that is just me. Yes I am still with my Magic man.

Black and white, I have sold my house and am moving to Queensland and this all happens on the 2nd of November. As for my Magic man, yes he is just as crazy as me, he has left his job, finishing renovations on his house and selling it. Also building a push bike and riding it up to Cape York for charity that is close to his heart, Asperger’s,  https://cycle.gofundraise.com.au/page/PerThomsen

The emotional side has been tough but kind to me as well. The selling and moving came about when my ex only claimed half of his wages for the year. He only worked for six months and was in Thailand with his girl friend for the other six months. So my child support was cut in half. I was not able to survive on my business as it was taking time to build up. So I had to make a big decision, before going code red in mortgage. Yes I had lots of support from friends and the two closest two me are amazing. So the whole idea was to sell and buy something for less money, pay off the car and bills and have a little in the bank. Well nothing was descent to live around here at the price I was looking at; my heart was dropping, feeling like a failure to my son. Not being able to give him something nice. I cracked the shits and started looking in Gympie, Queensland. I have a couple of good friends that way. In doing this I was risking my heart being torn apart, from leaving my Magic Man who is amazing. I went crazy with lots of emotions but holding it all together for the world to see I am strong and ok.

The place feels good and it is going to be an amazing adventure to settle down too.

The Dirty House

Yes this is the house I grew up in, the high school days. My sister nick named it the “dirty house” which I never could see it as dirty only a poor house. The house was just off a busy main road slightly lower than the road, on a hill. It was a normal looking house front, door in the middle, with windows either side of the door, the kind of one you see in kids stories. A little garden at the front. Off to the left as you stand facing the front door was a big tree and a concrete hill under the tree, this is an important spot my foster mum and we used to sit at night until dad, who would be drunk, stopped abusing my foster mum and he  fell asleep.

Continue reading “The Dirty House”

Past

Today I rang my step brother MH to find out where the box of photos and memories from my foster parents were that they had left for me. He rang around and found out they have been left in a wrecked car at the back of his block and ruined. He was so angry, MH just wanted to kill someone, that being my other step brother M, who has AIDS, bashes his kids and lives on a swampy bush block with no electricity in a caravan. Smoking, drugs kind of life style. Me being the type of person that blocks feelings out and could not be upset for something I never had.

My life with that step brother, M,  was not the best, he was the one who sexually abused me but hey, that’s something I’d would like to forget. This was, at the time, something that felt right because it felt like some one cared for me in a different way, but well what was I to think or say without causing trouble or bringing up shit feelings. As for MH he and I are the only ones who keep in contact since my foster parents died.