Facing our fears

Facing our fears

Sad-Girl-on-a-Swing--107123 (333 x 444)This takes courage and not all of us are strong enough to do this all the time. I remember my first Rebirthing experience, it was traumatising and exhausting. I went into meditation thinking I knew what I was going to work on and instead it was about something very personal and scaring to me. The feeling of emotions rising through my body and having no control over, forced me to not want to go to that dark place again.

The sad little girl lost, alone and no one to talk to. Over the years I have slowly trusted very few therapists in working on my inner child. I would have to say one was when I was 20 years old (there bouts). The other has been over the last three years which has been my greatest results.

This lady is like an angel from heaven. Her name is sis (bodhi lane reiki Geelong Melbourne)Learning to listen to your inner soul and she works with counselling and healing in no other way you cannot describe. Her magic, her knowledge is beautifully combined. She has a gift to heal and understand. I would go in with trust and walk out with inner knowledge and feel the power of enlighten. I do miss her therapy.

Now I am in a land of new surroundings with emotional upheavals. Yes having not found that trusted person to let it all go and move forwards with. Friends are great but they too have their own opinion and beliefs that interfere with how the process should evolve. My partner is great, not a man of many words but a man of action, just being there and listening and the little things he does makes me feel safe and knowing there is some one always there for me.

IMG_0447 (333 x 444)I have been given my child as I learn how to not accept abuse. He is a walking image of his father. This is all learned behaviour. At the age of two he learnt how to manipulate and abuse his mother thinking this is what life’s all about because that what dad did. Now it is my job to reframe his mind and teach him the real life’s beauty of love and respect.

It is so hard to be treated wrong and feeling like you has no control and yet I keep trying because that’s what mums do best. Now I need to be strong stop feeling sorry for myself, reframing my thoughts and help change my boy’s outlook of life, as it can be a magic place to be in. Please think how you act as parents while your kids are young. They are sponges and only learn through what they see. Think pause and create magic for your kid’s future.

Fear kills all, don’t let it make you life miserable. Change the way you think from the moment you open your eyes. Let life take you on a happy journey.

 

THE PAIN OF THE ABUSE GIVEN FROM YOUR OWN CHILD.

THE PAIN OF THE ABUSE GIVEN FROM YOUR OWN CHILD.

Abuse

The pain of abuse given from your child is sickening and hard to keep it together. as a parent we like to think we are doing the right thing, but some times we have created a bad thing. Trying to change what he is use to getting away with is the hardest times I have faced.

Conflict

I used to cave and give into his continuing to ask for some thing as it easier than conflicting. I have created this and now I am not caving in and am sticking to my word I am getting the biggest abuse from him. he is swearing at me, throwing things at me and breaking things around him. I feel I am in danger and don’t feel safe around my own child.

Memory

This also brings up a lot of memories of 20 years of marriage, being abused and me shutting down to protect myself and feel nothing. to not have feelings again scares me, I like to feel happy and love and don’t want to shut that out but all I feel is hate towards abuse. my thought is noted and my gut is sick and I walk around with that plastic smile again.

Safe

My safe place is lying in bed after he is asleep, know there are no more words to hurt me. This also brings up child hood dads abuse against my step mum. She was verbally abused and thing thrown at her head and guns getting pointed at us to get out of the house at night (cold frosty nights ) I would sit there with her bring us warm cups of tea, we would hold them tight to keep our hands from freezing. We waited until he fell asleep at about 2am then sneaked into bed quietly. I had a short sleep as I had to get up for school the next day most of the time.

This is my child I cannot hate him, I would not hurt him and I would not leave him, but to sit back and take the abuse again not know what to do as nothing I say or do is working and it is eating me up inside.

Every time I eat I feel sick get pains in my stomach and as for crying I am a mum and must hold that in. we as mum need to be strong and feel strong to make sure we are there when they need us.

I am a single mum and here are some more stories

http://singlemum.com.au/blogs/#

I am also a life coach and try to help myself and others in seeing the positive ahead of us.

https://powerfulpandorasdiary.com/

A little bit about me now

I am a Remedial Massage Therapist (with over 11 years experience), transitioning into life coaching and energy work and am looking forward to life changes and helping you discover yours. I am in  the process of creating work shops from simple massage techniques for family and friends to mind-blowing material in transforming your life. I look forward to encouraging you to find your magic in life-like I am doing. this is your journey, your goals, your process into making a better life for yourself and close ones around you. I will be starting with massage work, making my way into coaching and enlightening the power in you. yourself will gain a deeper understanding of what drives your results in life and learn valuable techniques to overcome barriers and the know how to get in-stuck. follow me to help you gain your future of your dreams.

https://www.facebook.com/oramassage/