The journey begins,
The life that I am no longer hiding from. Dealing with the feelings as they come to me now. yes I had a picture on how life was going to be but now I have to throw that away and start again, that’s ok I got this. where to start, I find out now that the past man has a lot of things he has not faced and this maybe why it drifted apart, as I have been facing what is put in front of me for some time now. my cycles have been stopping and I am facing this head on now. my new relationship yes you read right. I have met some one and as crazy as it seems, I was not looking or doing my old habits (that one I refused to do again) and it just happened. the eyes met, it was easy to communicate and there was no expectations. This time it was hi and see how it goes, have a milkshake, that easy. I feel like we have been together in an other life time as we have lots in coming and yes we are both treating it as friends, who knows where it ends.
SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN MY THOUGHT PATTERN THIS TIME ROUND
all the girly things and stuff when you first meet some one, like
- when they here you go to the toilet and you fart
- when you need to blow your nose and you stop yourself from looking at it first
- shy and hiding your body around them
- picking at your feet or body parts in front of them
- when you first get into bed with each other covering up
- cleaning your teeth for the first time in front of them
- seeing each other naked on the toilet
- talking about sexual stuff and not ashamed.
all of this is natural like we have been married for years, weird but hey that’s what is going down. yes my brain still say go slow but my other says this is easy, and then you get that crazy shit like you only just met him like.
this time round no running, only talking and facing it together and work it out. this is it, done and it will work.
my fairy tale is here, yep I am crazy but we all have to stop running and face the facts and what we what out of it.
Buying a house
Buying a house could be easy or could be hard. My experience in buying a house has given me two different experiences. The first house easy, every one organised everything and I signed and it was done. The second house of buying, well I am stressed out to the max. Well let’s just say I have shut down again. They say let things go and they will flow, well I am not sure which way the stream is flowing. It all started when money flow was not flowing and repayments on car and house and general bills a bit much to handle. This became a struggle, so my thoughts where explain buy something less money have some in bank and car paid off. Sounds good yes? Well nothing nice in Geelong for that price so i gave up and looked in Queensland, which has been on my mind to move there for a little while just not the right timing. My house sold quickly easy, found a place up north. Then the stress begins. I had a broker, Rams, a conveyance in Kyneton and in Queensland organising everything but no one was organising much at all. They were all waiting for someone else to make the move. So yes we are running out of time and the settlement date has been extended for the second time. And me well i am trying to round all up and do their work for them. Hey yes they still want their money funny that. So now i am on my way and still trying to fix paper work up while driving to Queensland. I feel like being angry but cannot because that’s too much energy. To be strong one must as i have a boy who is relying on his mum to give him a new happy home. But mum just wants to fall into a ball and cry. I am past falling apart; as i am thinking positive just have to do the work. But no one’s getting paid until i get a list of ins and outs of my money and a description of what their job was meant to be. Well maybe not that but that what it feels like. I have never heard of so much shit that has made this so hard. Then i look at it too what lesson the universe is trying to teach me on the way. This is my thoughts on that, make me pull my finger out and take control of my life. Made me feel strong and i can do this. To notice and love the friends that i have touch on my journey and i have lots to give .and to received help without feeling guilty about it.
The life changing experience is about to happen. The last three months have been a big turnaround for me. I have not been so pause in my life and I am starting to enjoy stopping and smelling the flowers. Don’t get me wrong I have still been up to a lot of crazy stuff, but that is just me. Yes I am still with my Magic man.
Black and white, I have sold my house and am moving to Queensland and this all happens on the 2nd of November. As for my Magic man, yes he is just as crazy as me, he has left his job, finishing renovations on his house and selling it. Also building a push bike and riding it up to Cape York for charity that is close to his heart, Asperger’s, https://cycle.gofundraise.com.au/page/PerThomsen
The emotional side has been tough but kind to me as well. The selling and moving came about when my ex only claimed half of his wages for the year. He only worked for six months and was in Thailand with his girl friend for the other six months. So my child support was cut in half. I was not able to survive on my business as it was taking time to build up. So I had to make a big decision, before going code red in mortgage. Yes I had lots of support from friends and the two closest two me are amazing. So the whole idea was to sell and buy something for less money, pay off the car and bills and have a little in the bank. Well nothing was descent to live around here at the price I was looking at; my heart was dropping, feeling like a failure to my son. Not being able to give him something nice. I cracked the shits and started looking in Gympie, Queensland. I have a couple of good friends that way. In doing this I was risking my heart being torn apart, from leaving my Magic Man who is amazing. I went crazy with lots of emotions but holding it all together for the world to see I am strong and ok.
The place feels good and it is going to be an amazing adventure to settle down too.
I am a Remedial Massage Therapist (with over 11 years experience), transitioning into life coaching and energy work and am looking forward to life changes and helping you discover yours. I am in the process of creating work shops from simple massage techniques for family and friends to mind-blowing material in transforming your life. I look forward to encouraging you to find your magic in life-like I am doing. this is your journey, your goals, your process into making a better life for yourself and close ones around you. I will be starting with massage work, making my way into coaching and enlightening the power in you. yourself will gain a deeper understanding of what drives your results in life and learn valuable techniques to overcome barriers and the know how to get in-stuck. follow me to help you gain your future of your dreams.
Things have turned for me, my life is a lot more active, finding purpose and direction. Don’t get me wrong I have had a huge thing to deal with, and my Friends and family ask how am I coping with this, yes I guess it is something I am putting off facing and slowly have been having lots of dreams, which is making me face it but not in the real world. I have been reading lots, which is taking me through an enlightenment journey. It may seem strange to some, but to me, it is something I have always felt in my heart. Continue reading Transition Times