Changes affecting the mind
Changes affecting your life. the need to find you and your wants. Things get taken away from you as quick as you can dream them. The biggest change of my life has happened over the last three months. Yes my dreams swept away, taken just as quick as I was imagining them. Now I am rebuilding my life. This time it is different, I am understand when people talk about if only things where different. my thoughts have been crazy, trying to hold it together and not letting it control me.
Yep focus in on work building it up and getting Jackson right. He is in a good place now and life is becoming easer with him as I am showing him some stability around the home front. Children need to feel safe and know that those people will always be in their life that is important to them.
I keep wondering maybe if it all happened differently or at a different time, but these are not the thoughts I am allowed to have. When this all went down I promised my self never again I am settling and becoming strong and going with what life has offered me. I guess I will never know if I am living my true destiny or a lie to my self.
I guess this is all coming up as I try to get the internet stuff up and running for myself not know what to do just teaching myself as I go not getting any where with it.
This life what is our journey meant to be happy, having security, having a normal life or hay not sure. Yes I am happy because life is what I wanted it to be but am I just living again. cant change any thing this time. It is normal secure and Jackson is feeling better with in himself. Jackson is my life and I will live it for him. I am not running, I am building a life for me and my son. Yes I got every thing I wanted in someone but it is like that display home is it really what I wanted. I guess I did it for 20 years before I can do it again, then maybe retired with me, myself, and I, FINDING WHAT WAS MY JOURNY MENT TO BE.