Mums story as she saw it from her point of view
One day George said to me he wanted to go to
England to find his family “
just like that” that sounded OK! To me I understood this need of knowing and wanting to find out why and what happened for him to arrive in Australia and yet some part of his family was still in London.
So I said go do what you have to do and said good-bye to him as if he was going to work, I was used to him coming and going but it was usually just a drug binge some were close. This was “England London where in the hell was that”.
I was pregnant at the time and you and I settled down to our usual routine, Maggie would pick us up and drop us back home in the evening. Twice a week we would have to rely on Maggie to do some shopping for us as there wasn’t any shops close to where we were living.
I have no idea how long George was away but it seemed forever and now I was due to have a baby any day. I was in pain as the baby was doing a lot of moving around so I decided to take time out from work I remember being in bed and you feeding me corn flakes one by one and then the doorbell rang you pushed the chair over to the door and it was Maggie she came in and rushed us to hospital.
I was coughing a lot they put me on a trolley while waiting to administer to a room in the hospital, and I coughed Monique out while waiting on the trolley. Nurses I think they were called sisters in those day” any way people came running left right and Maggie took you home with her.
Looking back on it I probably had massive depression unwell with pheromone post-natal depression and unable to make rational decisions I couldn’t breast feed which made the old nurse mad you have to breast feed it’s the only way, I had blisters all over my breast and they were so sore and red, that didn’t make any difference to them. Denise did come to Melbourne but I refused her help she wanted me to come back to Sydney.
I had failed, I was a failure with marriage, I felt like I wasn’t a good mother, I felt really ashamed and unwanted. Instead I choose the government help well they dumped me into a mad house shared accommodation with a lunatic of a women I lived upstairs of her house she was mentally and physically abused us; she dressed herself in rages and was always dirty. She showered me one day and had a wardrobe full of expensive cloths, bags and shoes.
She was a nuttier she would lock the door to the downstairs area and we couldn’t get out, this seem to happen mostly late in the evening. I couldn’t get to the kitchen to warm up Monique’s milk or get food for us, we were able to get out during the day and I would carry food upstairs and wrap Monique’s milk in a towel to keep it warm for the evening meal.
What I did was not intended to harm anyone of us it was for a short period of time till I got well. But unfortunately, I signed papers for Chris and Kevin because they were frightened George could take you both out of the country if he wanted to or some junkie hub, not knowing it made it difficult for me to gain custody too.
I did this because I loved you both so very much and couldn’t see any other way I thought Kevin and Chris were family as I knew them from a kid and thought they would do the right thing by me. There is always good and bad in life nothing is smooth sailing, we have all suffered a lot and the grace of god I have changed my life around and we are all now together it’s time to move on my darling, only think of the now not the past.
Enhance your emotion, harmonize and recharge, release blockages. Learn from the negative experiences turn the negative to positive otherwise it will attempt to control you and your world around you.
I beg you employ positive suggestions, meditate, do some yoga, clean your spirit with soothing music, waves, water, and permit love and harmony to fill your space. I love you darling and always have and I am only a stone throw away if you ever need a cuddle.