How we think people see us. Open Pandora’s box of love

Open Pandora’s box of love

Opening Pandora’s Box is a saying. Maybe classed this eval is inside but love, beauty, negative can all flow into one journey giving us the giggles.

We always think the worse seeing and picking on what we don’t like about our looks.

But I see the real beauty in side people. What is on the inside comes throw our skin.

  You give me inspirations you make me laugh and I am always learning and growing around you. The habits the physical look you are thinking others see is how you see yourself. Change these thought and grow glow. That is what a true friend sees.

 as observe an intelligent man who has always got a lot of knowledge to share and always bringing people up and making them feel good about them self.

Yes you have a way of saying it how it is but that is the truth and even if they don’t understand it then and there they will realise later. You have just helped them be a better them without you realising it.

looking at a man with a hot tight ass one of my eye candy’s. I love the way you walk and strut your confidence. You are hot in many ways and you are mine and I love the way you flirt and tease and making me always satisfied.

 Your friends think you are amazing and kind and also have a lot to bring to the table in a relationship and as for my friends they only want me to be happy.

It funny after our little break I see you so differently now I see no faults just pleasure and I also feel you are taller now. You have grown in my heart and eyes and I love everything about you. S

one time I find myself thinking and picturing the little dance wiggle you do with your hips and it bring be to a little giggle.

hearing your voice singing in my ears and I smile. I have you on my mind all the time picturing your eyes ever so soft and loving and sensual.

I have fallen in love and when I say it I tell myself I am not to run from love ever again, stay and enjoy and breathe it into my soul.

I am happy comfortable and cannot see myself anywhere else in this world, only in your arms.

Poem

The way you make me feel is just unreal. I am happy our eyes crossed paths

and you gave me your number

this journey begin of us in the wind

the wind of love, the warmth of lust and to always trust

to give each other inspiration as we gather our information

our information of our path together making it for ever

I will be yours truly as I feel you near me and never leave me

I have know where to hide but in your arms of love and pride

I know this is love for us.

So let enjoy our never-ending story of you and me with glory.

https://powerfulpandorasdiary.com

FEAR, will I end up in the right person’s eyes?

FEAR, will I end up in the right person’s eyes again?

I know this is a process I have chosen and now I have to work with it and truly find what I am searching for in my soul mate.

I know I have a lot to work on as I am not making these same mistakes again.

My life feels stuck at the moment want to release my desires. This must not be unleashed until I am certain. I am still not clear on what I don’t want and what I do want.

It’s like that relationship gone sour; to the point you don’t even want to hear what they are talking about. This always happens when my cycles come in and I get the feeling of running again.

Not wanting to be touch and this is all too real as it feels like my long relationship I had for 20 years. 

Yes I get Horney but I do not even want these desires to be filled.

I am starting to regret something I did and am feeling stuck and that dirty kind of feeling again.

Am I meant to be facing this again so I can tackle them face on, facing my fears I ran away from 4 years ago.

 This is coming up for me to face my fears and be done with them and be where I am meant to be with a soul mate. Life has funny ways of presenting things to us but obviously I have not completed this part of my feelings.

I know when I was forced to have sex as a child and as an adult I felt dirty after.

I just wanted to crawl up into a little ball after being in a hot shower, leaving my skin so red it looked like I had been sunburned.

Getting to the end of my married relationship I felt like a prostitute.

Having to perform sex as he had not had it for a month and I was made to feel guilty for him not having sex.

That I did not care for him. So I use to have sex with him then I only to just giving him a head job.

 I knew I had to get out and I could not pretend to love him anymore. This went on for years as I detracted in emotions and feelings.

I was dead my this time not know which was is up. Like falling in a pool when you have been drinking and trying to swim to the top only to find you ate swimming to the boot.

These feelings are back not his fault. I am waiting for the two-week when he finally gets his own place and I can start living in my space again. Maybe I should not wait as it is killing me inside again.

I am also waiting for the explosion of my son’s father. I have sent him two texts and am waiting for him to finally contact me and Jackson as he can now have contact with Jackson. So I am killing inside waiting again.

Why can’t I clear this up now as I am starting to die inside again? I want to reach out so badly to the man who was in my life but I have to give him respect to gain his life back.

I am not making the same mistake and asking him back and then running again. But I am crying inside for his arms to make the little girl feel safe in this world again.

I could always be in his arms and disappear from the world with my problems and everything felt safe again. I miss that. We only start to miss what we haven’t got.

How do we let our self drift apart from something that is good for us and then we cannot put it back together.

I am scared it will never be the same and I will not be accepted and I have done too much damage.

Yes we could just start again but there is too much history for that and going backwards in life is never the answer.

Well there it is all my stuff out that I cannot share with anyone at the moment as it will ruin and hurt a lot of people. (just like when I was not believed when I was young, if I told the story I would ruin all around me.

wow stuck in it again) so I stay in my fear till I can face it with strength and know what makes me happy.

 

what makes us happy

At the present I still think of what I had and what I have done and still question where I want to be. I am in paradise but still something is missing. I run I try to fix but all I need to do is find and be myself. I am learning to say what I want and what I need so I don’t stress. Sometimes I think am I going to be like a friend and be too picky on what I want. I know I want someone to connect in a deep way but also take the role of a supportive parent to my son. Not just treat him in away to be with me. This is something that is hard to expect from any one. My child is my life and I see it now you must be there for them not ask for what your needs are first. Mmmmm not sure if that made sense.

How I see my future is not seeing it yet. I guess to have someone fulfil my deepest emotions and me still being able to accept their needs in life too. I am finding communication and soul you can share anything together not one way is what I am craving. I also would like the load of life to be shared too. I am not put here to take care of anyone but my child. To help him grow and learn to be the best man he can be with his disability.

So now I am tuning into my needs and working with my child in helping him grow and feel loved.

I keep reaching out to what I knew felt good but in saying that I need to let go but I cannot because I know it was right I just need to figure out what was wrong for me to keep running away. Once I have figured that out I will understand myself and know what makes me happy.

I feel life is at stand still at the moment and lots go on around me. I am working on my business to keep me from focusing on the negative. I love work and making people feel good and the social is greater too.

Life you need a friend to talk to

You need a friend to express your crazy deep feelings with

And just your general social chit-chat to feel love and good about your self

So a purpose to feel good

A soul release

A chit-chat friend

And you to know who you are

FINDING CLOSER

I fear five a clock every day

FINDING CLOSER

This is my worse time of the day having to deal with my Childs melt downs of abuse towards me and feeling lonely. I wish had help at this time of the day. I am alone and hate it and just want to pack my bags and run and keep running. I am weak and am tired of life treating me like I am a piece of shit and It is my own child how can I run I have to face it.

All I want is someone to be there around this time but I guess some things you are meant to face alone. I am caught up between a soul mate and a lover. Trying to deal with my mixed emotion and my son mixed emotions is really challenging and hard. I have to be strong, but all i want to do is collapse into supporting arms and disappear. A well know feeling of mine. This time I have to just try to let it out the best way I know how and that is writing. I still question life and what makes us happy and till I figure this out I will always be looking back to the comforts I had. A friend said I will be with the one I love with my heart. I still question that too.
Why do I fear five a clock every day
This is my worse time of the day having to deal with my Childs melt downs of abuse towards me and feeling lonely. I wish had help at this time of the day. I am alone and hate it and just want to pack my bags and run and keep running. I am weak and am tired of life treating me like I am a piece of shit and It is my own child how can I run I have to face it. All I want is someone to be there around this time but I guess some things you are meant to face alone. I am caught up between a soul mate and a lover. Trying to deal with my mixed emotion and my son mixed emotions is really challenging and hard. I have to be strong, but all i want to do is collapse into supporting arms and disappear. A well know feeling of mine. This time I have to just try and let it out the best way I know how and that is writing. I still question life and what makes us happy and till I figure this out I will always be looking back to the comforts I had. A friend said I will be with the one I love with my heart. I still quI fear five a clock every day
This is my worse time of the day having to deal with my Childs melt downs of abuse towards me and feeling lonely. I wish had help at this time of the day. I am alone and hate it and just want to pack my bags and run and keep running. I am weak and am tired of life treating me like I am a piece of shit and It is my own child how can I run I have to face it. All I want is someone to be there around this time but I guess some things you are meant to face alone. I am caught up between a soul mate and a lover. Trying to deal with my mixed emotion and my son mixed emotions is really challenging and hard. I have to be strong, but all i want to do is collapse into supporting arms and disappear. A well know feeling of mine. This time I have to just try and let it out the best way I know how and that is writing. I still question life and what makes us happy and till I figure this out I will always be looking back to the comforts I had. A friend said I will be with the one I love with my heart. I still question that too.
Why do I give myself a hard time about life it should be easy meet some and live a life of work, play and no stress? I feel I create my own stress by not living in the now and keep trying to make it all perfect. Got to get this done, got to make this work. When children are involved you tend to think of what they need not your needs. I think one day I will get my turn in life and have my own place of happiness.
I cannot ring my closest friend as she is friends with whom I feel was my soul mate. I don’t want to reach out because he needs to move on his journey and find his strengths as this was not possible with me around. I am seeing it now we both needed to be apart to gain strength on our own. I think i will never be happy till I find strength in my heart and voice again.
So I guess this is how it flows until I see the light of life as it is painted out for me.
I am sorry I know you might read this but this blog is for me to let go and not show the people around me how dysfunctional I am. Who reads this is people fare away that cannot affect me or look into my eyes and see the pain I am going through. Yes we all put on that happy face and life s great to everyone but sometimes life is not so great.
I live in paradise but I am not in paradise yet. My paradise is the beach not the bush. The bush is some one else’s paradise not mine.
I THINK I KEEP REACHING OUT BECAUSE I HAVE NOT FOUND CLOSER
HOW DO I DO THIS?
estion that too.
Why do I give myself a hard time about life it should be easy meet some and live a life of work, play and no stress? I feel I create my own stress by not living in the now and keep trying to make it all perfect. Got to get this done, got to make this work. When children are involved you tend to think of what they need not your needs. I think one day I will get my turn in life and have my own place of happiness.
I cannot ring my closest friend as she is friends with whom I feel was my soul mate. I don’t want to reach out because he needs to move on his journey and find his strengths as this was not possible with me around. I am seeing it now we both needed to be apart to gain strength on our own. I think i will never be happy till I find strength in my heart and voice again.
So I guess this is how it flows until I see the light of life as it is painted out for me.
I am sorry I know you might read this but this blog is for me to let go and not show the people around me how dysfunctional I am. Who reads this is people fare away that cannot affect me or look into my eyes and see the pain I am going through. Yes we all put on that happy face and life s great to everyone but sometimes life is not so great.
I live in paradise but I am not in paradise yet. My paradise is the beach not the bush. The bush is some one else’s paradise not mine.
I THINK I KEEP REACHING OUT BECAUSE I HAVE NOT FOUND CLOSER
HOW DO I DO THIS?
I give myself a hard time about life it should be easy meet some and live a life of work, play and no stress? I feel I create my own stress by not living in the now and keep trying to make it all perfect. Got to get this done, got to make this work. When children are involved you tend to think of what they need not your needs. I think one day I will get my turn in life and have my own place of happiness.
I cannot ring my closest friend as she is friends with whom I feel was my soul mate. I don’t want to reach out because he needs to move on his journey and find his strengths as this was not possible with me around. I am seeing it now we both needed to be apart to gain strength on our own. I think i will never be happy till I find strength in my heart and voice again.
So I guess this is how it flows until I see the light of life as it is painted out for me.
I am sorry I know you might read this but this blog is for me to let go and not show the people around me how dysfunctional I am. Who reads this is people fare away that cannot affect me or look into my eyes and see the pain I am going through. Yes we all put on that happy face and life s great to everyone but sometimes life is not so great.
I live in paradise but I am not in paradise yet. My paradise is the beach not the bush. The bush is some one else’s paradise not mine.
I THINK I KEEP REACHING OUT BECAUSE I HAVE NOT FOUND CLOSER
HOW DO I DO THIS?

YOUR A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN MIND SET YOURSELF FREE

Music works on our vibration changing our moods. Allow your mind to connect with your soul through music. Music uplifts and moves through our body as we let go and be inspired at the same time. My son and I love going for drives and turning the music up and singing loud as we over express the words.

Life can be a challenge just every day-to-day but if we free our self and listen to the messages and sign it can change how we see things. I love playing with this, I see lots of the same numbers in time, and I also take note if I turn on the radio what song is playing to what the message is behind it. Messages are everywhere.

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/ways-to-calm-down-quickly-when-overwhelmed-3145197

DONT BE PUSHED BY YOUR PROBLEMS

BE INSPIRED BY YOUR DREAM

It is what it is

Thousand words can’t bring you back. I know because I’ve tried. But i am not allowed

And neither would a million tears i know you have cried and it is what is.

I am not allowed to let my past interfere with my future as it was what it was.

FEAR of facing our deepest fears has set it apart.