Changes that affecting our life.
A need to find you and your wants. Things can get taken away from you as quick as you can dream them. The biggest change of my life has happened over the last three months. My dreams swept away, taken just as quick as I was imagining them. Now I am rebuilding my life.
This time it is different, I am understand, when people talk about !if only things where different! my thoughts have been crazy, trying to hold it together and not letting it control me. But they take over and it gets hard.
Focus in on work building it up and getting Jackson right. He is in a good place now and life is becoming easer with him as I am showing him some stability around the home front. Children need to feel safe and know that those people will always be in their life that is important to them. knowing where they stand and knowing what feels safe and will not be taken from them is very important to them.
I keep wondering maybe if it all happened differently or at a different time, but these are not the thoughts I am allowed to have. or should I have as the past is gone and we need to pause and learn from this.
When this all went down I promised my self never again I am settling and becoming strong and going with what life has offered me. I guess I will never know if I am living my true destiny or a lie to my self only time will tell me.
I guess this is all coming up as I try to get the internet stuff up and running for myself not know what to do just teaching myself as I go not getting any where with it. ( as I use to have help from my past relationship) I can do this, stand on my own two feet, I got this.
Life, what is our journey meant to be! happy, having security, having a normal life or hay not sure. Yes I am happy because life is what I wanted it to be but am I just living again or is it just unfamiliar to me. Cant change any thing this time. It is normal secure and Jackson is feeling better. Jackson is my life and I will live it for him. I am not running, I am building a life for me and my son.
I got every thing I wanted in someone but it is like that display home is it really what I wanted or do I just need to live it and warm up to it. guessing I did it for 20 years before I can do it again, then maybe retired with me, myself, and I, FINDING WHAT WAS MY JOURNEY MENT TO BE.
when things are new it takes time to adjust. the question is do you want to put effort and time into it or just run again?
My answer is not running going to spend the time as this time I feel it is worth it.