The journey begins,
The life that I am no longer hiding from. Dealing with the feelings as they come to me now. yes I had a picture on how life was going to be but now I have to throw that away and start again, that’s ok I got this. where to start, I find out now that the past man has a lot of things he has not faced and this maybe why it drifted apart, as I have been facing what is put in front of me for some time now. my cycles have been stopping and I am facing this head on now. my new relationship yes you read right. I have met some one and as crazy as it seems, I was not looking or doing my old habits (that one I refused to do again) and it just happened. the eyes met, it was easy to communicate and there was no expectations. This time it was hi and see how it goes, have a milkshake, that easy. I feel like we have been together in an other life time as we have lots in coming and yes we are both treating it as friends, who knows where it ends.
SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN MY THOUGHT PATTERN THIS TIME ROUND
all the girly things and stuff when you first meet some one, like
- when they here you go to the toilet and you fart
- when you need to blow your nose and you stop yourself from looking at it first
- shy and hiding your body around them
- picking at your feet or body parts in front of them
- when you first get into bed with each other covering up
- cleaning your teeth for the first time in front of them
- seeing each other naked on the toilet
- talking about sexual stuff and not ashamed.
all of this is natural like we have been married for years, weird but hey that’s what is going down. yes my brain still say go slow but my other says this is easy, and then you get that crazy shit like you only just met him like.
this time round no running, only talking and facing it together and work it out. this is it, done and it will work.
my fairy tale is here, yep I am crazy but we all have to stop running and face the facts and what we what out of it.