The words that clutter our heads, negativity let’s try to reframe it to positive.
the positive out comes are from your thoughts you create.
Waking up is the most important mind-set you can grab? Stop pause lie there and thinking how do I want my day to be like.
This was me yesterday and yes it worked.
The day before yesterday was a day I would love to forget. I felt worthless, no good at being a mother and everything I said was out of anger and should not have been said out loud.
When I Wake up in the morning I am going to approach everything with a smile, pause and think of how to redirect the negative into positive. It was amazing felt tired at the end of the day in the most different way. The satisfaction and calming way of tired.
The way life should feel at the end of the day.
oppose to the other day. I was feeling of worthless and wanting to hide and crawl up into a little ball. I cried so hard my body was trembling and feelings of weakness.
To put it all down on paper released it into the universe and calmed down. Still feeling weak but release at the same time climbed into bed and let it go. I feel like calling someone as this is what usually happens but this time it is my turn to look after myself and work this out. Latterly I have been given by the universe time to myself and this has made me face me and make my own decisions.
Reframing the way you see things will help you move towards your goals of being happy.
I have become so numb over my life. How do we let this happen? Life becomes a routine of things to do. Wake up coffee, work, kids and sleep. Then do it all again, when do we have time to feel what makes us alive and feel again.
When we shut down it is hard to find our feelings again. Does this come from way back and then have someone crush us so hard we don’t relies we become numb. I shut down as a little girl then used drugs and stripping to feel a live again only to find behind closed doors I was still was that lost lonely little girl.
We only grow when we face our past and work on our inner child. As scary as it may be baby steps will lead the way. Breaking it down over the past years I am able to face my fears. Understand and pause and reframe my mind to collect the information and accept who I am today. Theses sadness still comes when I am alone but they don’t last as long as they used too. I accept that it is ok to seat in sadness some times.
When I am numb I fiddle with my thumbs
When I am sad I reframe to glad
When I am angry it really scares me
Being true to you takes a lot of courage
So do not hide your feelings let them flourish
We are all human so let someone in close to you
So when you are alone behind closed doors
You know they are there with you in spirit and love.
And home feels like home to you.
The weekends alone with my child are the hardest, this is were I feel the most pain of being alone, it brings back feelings of the separation with the ex. When leaving I try and grab strength to get out but I think I blocked all feelings so I was strong for my boy, now every time alone at home with my boy I fall apart, falling into the deepest hole. If I was alone no child I think I would not leave my bedroom and be a mess. Leaving the ex took a year of building up courage and hate towards every thing he said and did. When I told him it is over I made sure my son was around so he could not get angry and maybe hurt me. Continue reading “Feelings of Seperation”
OMG it has been a roller coaster, emotional weekend, which should have been a magic one. Let me set the scene for you. My ex has been away in Thailand living a different life, away from his child and decides to come back and start looking after his boy again, which is great for my boys heart but I think for him, personally maybe not. So I drop him off and head off to my mans house to spend some time alone together, not thinking anything but and then my emotions take over without realising and I shut down like I used to with the ex, not fucking good, I hate this feeling of not feeling. I did not realise until later that I had shut down, feeling sick about my boy, is he ok?
Continue reading “Dear Diary, Seperation”