Missing the affection you gain from someone

Missing the affection you gain from someone being present

missing a partners affectionI am feeling strong but affection is a must

it is the one thing I lust

to have you hold me tight at night

to pull me ever so tight

I am missing the spooning at night

as I fight to be strong and bright

to shine for myself as I follow the light

please god give me strength each night

I must admit I am not doing too bad

but it hasn’t been long to feel sad

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-talk

I long for the right, not the wrong and the bad

so let’s say I have been strong

but I feel a rush that is coming on

I am going with what is good for me

but yet I am not so good you see

well not yet lol

http://pandorasdiary.com.au/emotions-have-a-purpose-even-when-they-are-unwanted/

Self awareness

 

self-awareness

sitting in your own space

This is about pausing and clearing the mind

taking the time to self reflect

The day has come where I sit alone

I have deleted all that does not serve my future

I have reached a point where I need to be alone

Being alone is not my best side as I feel I always need that distraction in life.

But now I am trying and fighting to need for old to play and new to feed

We all struggle with life’s difficulty’s

How do you manage?

I do lots of pausing before reacting

And some times that work and some times I react

if I put me to good and do the things that need doing

I put my self in the right place of acting and not reacting

Take time out for me

But there is always that time when you are alone and your mind wants to explore the old and not the new

Dame that’s hard lol

Enjoy your day and stay true to yourself we are all human and make good and bad choices

https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/bglk5a/image_hold_on_because_you_are_struggling_does_not/

Love 💗 self awarness

How we think people see us; open Pandora’s box of love.

Open Pandora’s box of loveHow people see us; love and relationships | Pandora's Diary

Opening Pandora’s Box is a saying. Maybe classed this evil is inside but love, beauty, negative can all flow into one journey giving us the giggles.

We always think the worse seeing and picking on what we don’t like about our looks.

But I see the real beauty in side people. What is on the inside comes throw our skin.

 You give me inspirations you make me laugh and I am always learning and growing around you. The habits the physical look you are thinking others see is how you see yourself. Change these thought and grow glow. That is what a true friend sees.

 as observe an intelligent man who has always got a lot of knowledge to share and always bringing people up and making them feel good about them self.

Yes you have a way of saying it how it is but that is the truth and even if they don’t understand it then and there they will realise later. You have just helped them be a better them without you realising it.

looking at a man with a hot tight ass one of my eye candy’s. I love the way you walk and strut your confidence. You are hot in many ways and you are mine and I love the way you flirt and tease and making me always satisfied.

 Your friends think you are amazing and kind and also have a lot to bring to the table in a relationship and as for my friends they only want me to be happy.

It funny after our little break I see you so differently now I see no faults just pleasure and I also feel you are taller now. You have grown in my heart and eyes and I love everything about you. S

one time I find myself thinking and picturing the little dance wiggle you do with your hips and it bring be to a little giggle.

hearing your voice singing in my ears and I smile. I have you on my mind all the time picturing your eyes ever so soft and loving and sensual.

I have fallen in love and when I say it I tell myself I am not to run from love ever again, stay and enjoy and breathe it into my soul.

I am happy comfortable and cannot see myself anywhere else in this world, only in your arms.

Poem

How people see us; love and relationshipsThe way you make me feel is just unreal. I am happy our eyes crossed paths

and you gave me your number

this journey begin of us in the wind

the wind of love, the warmth of lust and to always trust

to give each other inspiration as we gather our information

our information of our path together making it forever

I will be yours truly as I feel you near me and never leave me

I have to know where to hide but in your arms of love and pride

I know this is love for us.

So let enjoy our never-ending story of you and me with glory.

https://powerfulpandorasdiary.com

FEAR, will I end up in the right person’s eyes?

FEAR, will I end up in the right person’s eyes again?

I know this is a process I have chosen and now I have to work with it and truly find what I am searching for in my soul mate.

I know I have a lot to work on as I am not making these same mistakes again.

My life feels stuck at the moment want to release my desires. This must not be unleashed until I am certain. I am still not clear on what I don’t want and what I do want.

It’s like that relationship gone sour; to the point you don’t even want to hear what they are talking about. This always happens when my cycles come in and I get the feeling of running again.

Not wanting to be touch and this is all too real as it feels like my long relationship I had for 20 years. 

Yes I get Horney but I do not even want these desires to be filled.

I am starting to regret something I did and am feeling stuck and that dirty kind of feeling again.

Am I meant to be facing this again so I can tackle them face on, facing my fears I ran away from 4 years ago.

 This is coming up for me to face my fears and be done with them and be where I am meant to be with a soul mate. Life has funny ways of presenting things to us but obviously I have not completed this part of my feelings.

I know when I was forced to have sex as a child and as an adult I felt dirty after.

I just wanted to crawl up into a little ball after being in a hot shower, leaving my skin so red it looked like I had been sunburned.

Getting to the end of my married relationship I felt like a prostitute.

Having to perform sex as he had not had it for a month and I was made to feel guilty for him not having sex.

That I did not care for him. So I use to have sex with him then I only to just giving him a head job.

 I knew I had to get out and I could not pretend to love him anymore. This went on for years as I detracted in emotions and feelings.

I was dead my this time not know which was is up. Like falling in a pool when you have been drinking and trying to swim to the top only to find you ate swimming to the boot.

These feelings are back not his fault. I am waiting for the two-week when he finally gets his own place and I can start living in my space again. Maybe I should not wait as it is killing me inside again.

I am also waiting for the explosion of my son’s father. I have sent him two texts and am waiting for him to finally contact me and Jackson as he can now have contact with Jackson. So I am killing inside waiting again.

Why can’t I clear this up now as I am starting to die inside again? I want to reach out so badly to the man who was in my life but I have to give him respect to gain his life back.

I am not making the same mistake and asking him back and then running again. But I am crying inside for his arms to make the little girl feel safe in this world again.

I could always be in his arms and disappear from the world with my problems and everything felt safe again. I miss that. We only start to miss what we haven’t got.

How do we let our self drift apart from something that is good for us and then we cannot put it back together.

I am scared it will never be the same and I will not be accepted and I have done too much damage.

Yes we could just start again but there is too much history for that and going backwards in life is never the answer.

Well there it is all my stuff out that I cannot share with anyone at the moment as it will ruin and hurt a lot of people. (just like when I was not believed when I was young, if I told the story I would ruin all around me.

wow stuck in it again) so I stay in my fear till I can face it with strength and know what makes me happy.

 

Fear of accepting your child is different.

We love our children dearly sometimes we hide behind the truth. I have been battling this for a long time. Now it has become dangerous. So I have pushed and faced the fact that this is not normal behaviour.

 

Yes everyone has their own input but not everyone has been around my child all the time. The things that happen behind closed doors, I have just been putting up with hoping everything will be normal soon. Yes we do have good days but then it goes back to verbal abuse and hitting and not letting me out of the room to breaking things.

Now we have started the medication and I am numb and not knowing what to feel. I listen to everyone having their opinion but how do I feel about this? I have had enough of the abuse and am going to go with the flow and see how this affects him. I am the mother in control and I will do what’s best for my child. But sometimes the heart gets in the way and we make some sad choices.

I do feel relieved and also concern, but I have always just wanted for him to fit in and have friends. WHEN YOUR MOTHER SENDS YOU A TEXT LIKE THIS,

The truth hurts.

I may have moved to paradise but i am not in paradise yet.