by pandora


This is my first time camping and am child free just me and my magic man. It is fun but my mind keeps drifting in and out of question mode and emotions. Out here you have no choice but to feel, this brings back lots for me as it is a time to pause, lots to notice in each other, feelings for me of another commitment thingy

Yes don’t get me wrong I want to be with him forever but the questions come up after being with someone for over 20 years and being stuck with what he wants, I have to do, the questions for me is am I really enjoying this or is this something I feel i have to do. That is my body’s sometimes having a melt down and shutting off. So during this time i have been pausing stoping and trying to feel what it is that’s making me happy. I am finding myself thinking yes i could enjoy this. The question to myself is getting to know who i am and what do i enjoy. This was all taken away from me and that is crazy hard to find again, i think it would be like teaching someone to walk again, it’s really hard and that’s what i am going through at the moment reteaching myself what makes me happy, what I enjoy doing in life. I have lost that, and that makes me sad, everyone should find who they are and there pleasures in life and feel it, not just a robot life.  

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