Category:

Diary

desire
Diary

Raw Desire

by pandora
written by pandora

Raw desire

My questions is, how do you want me?

I am raw and fragile to the commitment path we are both on

I want to touch you and feel you in my heart

But the road blocks scare me

I am low and feeling too much

I need to know how you want me.

As we come up against my biggest fear of putting all my effort and heart

And we can’t see past the road block

The one thing that is so dear to me and yet so painful

I want to feel you but my block that I have has control over me

 Pushing you away and treating you so unkind and unfair

This is killing me as it would be killing you and do you overcome this or have you had enough of it

I have to face that this maybe what tears us apart and kill me inside

Not sure you are strong enough to overcome it as you watch me fall apart as it tears us apart

Why does something so amazing be torn apart and make us so miserable for us

It is going to kill us and separate us and the fear of mine may just come true

I saw it in your eyes and your noise was so clear

It’s just a matter of time till it falls apart again

I am tired and sad and want so much more for us

Communication can only save us, when we are feeling like we are getting torn apart

Or we depart and feel the loss.

So let’s start with communication with a plan on how we can see this through.

That what we set out to do this time

Let pull this off and be amazing together.

I want this to work i hope you are strong this time.

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Diary

Magic Potion in a Bath with Rose Peddles

by pandora
written by pandora

The fantasy awaits, as I dream of my place

The night I come home to rose peddles at the gate

I open the front door and smell the rose oil

as the room is so warm from candles lights down the hall

I follow the trail, that leads to a room

I open the door as rose peddles cover the floor

I see the deep white bath with red ever so beautiful and dark

the smell is so romantic and hit me in my heart

I am blessed to have some romantic rack who really is smart

no, he will treat me like a princess behind closed doors

but when he is out I am Mrs Clause

I slip my clothes off and enter the bath

and on the side with my favourite part

a glass of Bailey’s as I sip do us apart

give me some romance with a mans behind

and I will sit and what and feel divine

loving this manifesting and being apart

I will soon create the man I want

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Diary

Today is about the unknown

by pandora
written by pandora

Today is about the unknown

changing the cycles as I have flown

to not get court up in the past

the past things that have not last

I am going out on a limb and

trying things that I would not have been

I am looking and how it makes me feel

instead of how it looks

http://pandorasdiary.com.au/i-like-and-that-is-the-naughty-me/

today is about

so I am going with my gut and not thinking too much

as my head always takes over but

this time of going with the gut

who knows where it might lead me

as there is a lot of positives

I feel more than I see

and I am going to let this be

be what it may and enjoy the day

I will jump in with eyes closed and go with what my gut knows

I am in a situation so unfamiliar

but at the same time, I can feel it

all nervous and not knowing what’s going on

but hey let’s play along

who knows what it may lead too

I have nothing to lose.

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DiaryFeelings

Missing the affection you gain from someone

by pandora
written by pandora
Missing the affection you gain from someone being present

I am feeling strong but affection is a must

it is the one thing I lust

to have you hold me tight at night

to pull me ever so tight

I am missing the spooning at night

as I fight to be strong and bright

to shine for myself as I follow the light

please god give me strength each night

I must admit I am not doing too bad

but it hasn’t been long to feel sad

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-talk

I long for the right, not the wrong and the bad

so let’s say I have been strong

but I feel a rush that is coming on

I am going with what is good for me

but yet I am not so good you see

well not yet lol

http://pandorasdiary.com.au/emotions-have-a-purpose-even-when-they-are-unwanted/

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DiaryFeelings

Your Relationship

by pandora
written by pandora

Your Relationship

Your relationship is yours and not to be assessed by any one else’s. Every relationship has been different for me. We all grow and have different stages of our life. I grow through every relationship even the one night stands. When i was young I had fun relationships not much commitment just fun and enjoying hanging out. There was one guy I thought I was committed to when i was around 20 years old but I had to live more. Then I got caught up in the drug scene dating a drug dealer of ecstasy and having the time of my life. Those were the days of stripping and parting on the weekends. I must say though I never mixed the two together I always kept them separate. Work was work and fun was fun. !believe it or not!

Then after years I realised I had to stop the drugs before it took over me. Well I thought I was not that bad but still wanted to stop. I went to Melbourne for work and met my ex husband and moved to Melbourne. Now he came into my life to help me give up drugs. He was ante and did not do drug and that was great. Yeas it worked but then the control and obsessiveness came in. Me not reconsidering it until it was too late.

and who am I, with all the abuse and threats. It took me 20 years to wake up to that one. I guess that relationship served it purpose; he did teach me how to run my own business and give up drugs. But then I became his trophy.

T(Imagine this, growing up in a world searching for your soul mate based merely on a formula that has a positive outcome. Each person you meet has their own piece of the formula, and with just a touch of the index finger, you immediately know whether or not that person is the one for you. Now imagine meeting countless people, and you notice some of your friends find their soul mate before you. You begin to feel like your formula isn’t right, so you pretend to choose someone as your soul mate and later after much time you realize you made a big mistake. You wanted to be like your friend just because you noticed those around you were getting into relationships meanwhile you didn’t take the time to find the right one for you based on your own needs.)

https://originalgoodgirl.com/2018/04/14/own-your-relationship/

Your relationship is yours and not to be assessed by any one else’s. Every relationship has been different for me. We all grow and have different stages of our life. I grow through every relationship even the one night stands. When I was young I had fun relationships not much commitment just fun and enjoying hanging out.

There was one guy I thought I was committed to when I was around 20 years old but I had to live more. Then I got caught up in the drug scene dating a drug dealer of ecstasy and having the time of my life. Those were the days of stripping and parting on the weekends. I must say though I never mixed the two together I always kept them separate. Work was work and fun was fun. !believe it or not! Then after years I realised I had to stop the drugs before it took over me. Well I thought I was not that bad but still wanted to stop. I went to Melbourne for work and met my ex husband and moved to Melbourne. Now he came into my life to help me give up drugs. He was ante and did not do drug and that was great. Yeas it worked but then the control and obsessiveness came in. Me not reconsidering it until it was too late. Losing my identity and who am I, with all the abuse and threats. It took me 20 years to wake up to that one. I guess that relationship served it purpose; he did teach me how to run my own business and give up drugs. But then I became his trophy.

Soul mates and connection is not what I was used to until I met a man, we talked a lot of deep emotional stuff connecting in a lot of different ways.  I learnt so much about myself. He was there to listen to support me in a lot of ways that where new to me. however I always felt like some thing was missing. not knowing what is was I left and went back many times to find learn, not sure. A relationship in my eyes become clearer as time went on,  Family and trust was a big part of my upbringing. I am still unclear of what went wrong but we all make choices and maybe some day I can look back and answer it. Now I see things in a different light. still unsure and for sure I get lots of laughs and mind stimulation. finding your true self could take years but enjoy day by day and let in unfold.

some points that help me.

  • Accepting that someone loves you
  • Feeling safe and content it is hard to describe.
  • You will know it when you find it. All is covered and what you dreamed of.
  • Support in the action, the way they do, not just talk, they take action about it, they listen without commenting, just let you talk.
  • They remember what you have said and take action.
  • The look says it all; you do not need to say I love you all the time.
  • You are in a busy public place they will notice your mood change from a distance and ask if you’re ok, them knowing something is up

I AM STILL LEARNING WHAT THIS CONNECTION IS AND HOW LIFE IS MEANT TO BE. SOUL SEARCHING IS FOUND WHEN YOU STOP LOOKING AND ACCEPT WHAT WILL BE WILL BE.

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