The best fantastic thing that could happen to me is the stops of my cycles that coursed so much pain.
This pain was so intense I thought this is what life was to be. I would become happy, and my child’s thoughts of something incredible happened to me would be taken away from me. My knowledge of happiness was sad, and to other people, this is not what happiness means to them.
I could not understand why no one got what was so real to me and yet so crazy to others. It took me a lot to know what happiness means and how to find who I was and learn how life works.
The day I became the same dancer thing, I would block out all feelings to treat it as business and make the big bucks. When the other girls let their emotions get in the way, I was healthy and blocked it out and hear another cycle just around the corner.
I thought falling in love meant feeling numb.
That how I treated it as that’s how I knew it. It was partly my subconscious. Wow, what a great combination was running away when I was happy and shutting down to cope with love.
Not a healthy way to live.
Know all this and do the work. I now look at my relationship from different eyes. I ask myself when something pops up, is this my shit or not. I ask myself questions where it comes from, and I also explain to my partner what is going around in my head. Not in an attacking way but just a general conversation, and this works.
Take pride in your won shit, get help, and make it work. Running aguing is not the answer.
We all have a story to tell of our history, share care, and love life.
so my question to you is before you go